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Authors: How to use authentic yet readable world-building jargon
Now and then an author expresses the desire to write an “authentic” fantasy or sci-fi world, yet completely loses their readers in chapter one. Why?
A reader excitedly buys a new fantasy book because the blurb plays up how original and alien the world is. Great. After all, we all tire of orcs and elves. She starts reading and encounters:
Tak-ra-lo’chik caressed his sacred po’cha and signaled the ritual bet-e-la to the opposing general.
His opponent raised his hand and made the symbol of ok-ra in the air, cajoling a chorus of cries of “de-ma-la, ma’kilik!” from his horde. He removed a bot’wak from his pocket, summoning a dozen pirla to his side.
What? Okay, you can guess the meaning of most of that, but only in generalities. There is no nuance. It invokes no real understanding. You can’t form an emotional response until you read on. Is bet-e-la good or bad? Strong or weak? Are they screaming for blood or announcing their foes as worthy combatants after having lost the battle? What is a bot’wak and what on earth do pirla look like?
You can’t picture anything you are reading. You can guess, but you will never know for sure, and if you guess wrong, you might get all the way through the book only to have the realization “oh, pirla are…