Your experience seems significantly different to mine.

1. Their delivery/hand-over IS minimal to be sure. They do recommend you watch the tutorial videos before taking ownership. It's definitely a unique experience but then I don't miss the patronizing dealers and horrible haggling process.

2. My insurance is only about 5% higher than my old vehicle, so perhaps you have a really bad insurance company?

3. Design is definitely subjective. An extra $1000 for color paint is a much better deal than most vehicles where you pay an extra $5000 for the nav system, and another $3000 for interior upgrades. The Tesla is well kitted out for just paying $1000 for another color.

4. You don't NEED a smart phone, but it sure is easier. Clearly you have no problem with every other company under the sun having access to your data and gps location, so I don't know why you worry about Tesla. I suspect many high-end vehicles are transmitting all your driving data anyway.

5. There is a manual button for the trunk, at least on my Model 3. And I don't have to hit confirm, so not sure what app you are using. Having no physical access to the glove box is arguably a great security feature, especially if you PIN-protect it.